


From The Ashes

by rosymamacita



Series: The Apocalypse Part 2 [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, Canon Compliant, Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Post-Season/Series 03, glowing forest, prompts, steering away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:59:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9483878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosymamacita/pseuds/rosymamacita
Summary: Mostly bellarke prompts. Mostly post season three. Aiming for one a day. Wish me luck.





	1. Late Watch

**Author's Note:**

> I'm starting a series of prompts as a celebration for my upcoming 2k followers on tumblr. Here's my first. 
> 
> Anonymous said:  
> canonverse comfort! Bellarke sitting by the fire, during their S4 trip with Jaha. He's sleeping on his own apart from them, they're sitting a little too close, knees touching. They talk about their worries. Bellamy is worried about Octavia going off on her own (no scream yet). Clarke is worried about Azgeda and everyone else blaming her for shutting off the CoL. Maybe they talk about L and Gina (you said no CL so feel free to leave this out). Just fluff, comforting and supporting each other.

Clarke was on watch. But instead of keeping an eye on the valley below and the approaches, she watched Bellamy sleeping. Her attention was again and again drawn to lines of his back, the way the fire light caught in his dark curls, the slow and steady rise of his chest as he breathed. She loved him and she was so glad to have him back, working with him, trusting him. Just being together. It was right. 

When he shifted in his bedroll and the curve of his cheek and the soft flutter of his eyelashes was visible, she knew there was no help for her anymore. She wanted to lay gentle kisses on his closed lids and wrap herself around him, protecting him from everything she’d done and everything he’d done and everything that had been done to them.

Time passed and the moon rose, just visible now through the trees over the valley. She was vividly aware of him stirring and waking, although she kept her eyes on the valley and the moon and the night. 

He stood up and stretched before she even had the opportunity to wake him for his watch. She didn’t look at him as he came to put his hand on her shoulder.

“Everything good?” he asked. She nodded. “Go get some sleep, we still have a long way to go until we get to the mansion.”

Then she did look at him. His face still soft from sleep and his hair falling over his forehead. It was peaceful here in the hills, no settlements nearby. And their normal wariness was losing it’s edge. 

Maybe that was what made her want to lean in and kiss his cheek good night.

Instead she ducked her head and let her hair fall to cover her face. “Yeah,” and went to lay down. 

“You okay?” he said after she tucked herself up in her bed roll. She couldn’t answer, she had no answer, she didn’t know why, and just nodded. “‘Night,” she said, and closed her eyes while he looked out over the valley and the approach, taking watch, keeping them safe.

Or she tried anyway. She couldn’t sleep. She knew she should. They had far to go. But all she could do was stare at him in the shadows as the moon hid itself behind the taller trees, illuminating the cloudy sky behind Bellamy, throwing him into relief. Alert and ready for anything. She trusted him to watch her back and it should have let her relax enough to sleep but it didn’t. A heavy sigh broke from her.

“Bad night?” he asked softly, glancing over at Jaha on the other side of the fire from them. Jaha was a light sleeper. She wasn’t sure if it was an effect of his time in the City of Light, or something else, but he snapped in and out of sleep on a moment’s notice.

Clarke grabbed her blanket and settled next to him on his log perch. She pulled the blanket around her shoulders and then answered softly back. “I just can’t get used to there not being an emergency.”

He smiled at her, just a little and her heart flipped over. “You don’t think an impending apocalypse is an emergency?” He leaned into her, his words right by her ear.

She knocked him with her shoulder, huffing a silent laugh. “You know what I mean. There’s nothing now. Nothing right this instant that is a threat. Just a journey to find those disaster plans and locate Becca’s maps. Too bad Jaha didn’t retain her memory when we disconnected him from ALIE, huh?”

Bellamy’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Too bad. All he knows is the plans exist. And where they are stored.” 

“And that means we have to go get them.” She sighed. She liked watching the moonlit clouds scuttle over the valley. It was pretty. And peaceful.

“You could have gone with your mom, you know.” His voice was low.

Clarke nodded. “I could have but…”

She thought he was going to let the silence go on.

“But what, Clarke?” He turned to her fully and searched her face, worried. He knew she’d avoided her mom and the other delinquents for a reason. He knew it then. She remembered how he had watched her at the assignments, as if she’d make a break for it. 

“It was too hard,” she muttered and then dropped her head. “I didn’t want to face them.”

He tilted her chin up with his thumb and turned her face back to him. “You wanted to leave,” he said, as if it were something he accepted, expected. 

It took her a few moments of searching the sadness in his face before the touch of his fingers on her jaw registered. His nearness. “It was too much, too soon,” she admitted. “And you were leaving with Jaha. I couldn’t…I couldn’t let you go.”

He blinked quickly once. “Me?” he whispered.

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, feeling the muscles and tendons shift as he started to move away. She held him close. “Come on Bellamy. You know you’re the only one.” She said her heart beating. “The only one who understands.”

He nodded slightly, a wrinkle between his brows. 

“And I wasn’t going to let you go off with just Jaha, I would never do that to you,” she made the lame joke and grinned, but he didn’t. He cocked his head and let his hand curl around the back of her neck, just below her ear. “That-that’s almost worse than being alone…” her voice cracked, having a hard time staying even with his touch and the way he was looking at her. “…Like I was back when I…” her words trailed off.

“What do I understand, Clarke?” He wouldn’t let her get away with avoiding.

She bit her lip and took his hand from her neck and held it between her two hands in her lap. Holding on as if he could keep her from flying away. He squeezed back and in a way, it worked. She felt grounded, with him. He kept her here. With him she was present. Not thinking about the past, or the future, just now.

“Did you love her?” those weren’t the words she meant to say. She didn’t need to say Gina’s name. They both knew.

He answered immediately, like it was on his mind. “I did. But I wasn’t in love with her. I wanted to be sometimes, but I couldn’t.”

She tried hard not to feel the thrill at his words, thinking that maybe it was because of her that he couldn’t be in love with Gina. That he had been devoted to Clarke even when he was with her. And then she felt selfish and cruel. Gina had deserved to be loved by him. Bellamy deserved to have someone to be in love with. She dropped her head again, hiding her sadness from him.

“Did you love her?” he asked the question back, so quietly it was barely audible, even though he was so close she could feel his breath moving her hair. He brought his other hand and covered hers, letting his thumb stroke her knuckles as if she needed comfort from him, as if he already knew the answer.

She looked up, caught his eyes. Nodded. “I was lonely, afraid, sad. She was everything I wanted to be.”

She caught the flash of pain across his face. “A betrayer.”

This time, she pulled their clasped hands to her chest to hold on. . The laugh she huffed out was bitter. “But it didn’t bother her. What she did. It never touched her, no matter how awful it was. And I wanted that.”

He shook his head. He closed his eyes as if it hurt to look at her. It meant she could look at him all she wanted, so she drank in his features, his cheekbones and full lips, the freckles, the dimple in his chin. His face so near made it easier to talk. “I loved her. And I was in love with her.” He sighed and opened his eyes.

She couldn’t help it. She let go of his hand and brushed his hair back from his eyes. “But I didn’t trust her at all. And I’m not sure I liked her. I didn’t want to spend time with her, like this. Talking. Alone.” She glanced back at Jaha, still asleep. “You’re the one I trust, Bellamy.” She couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips because it was so true. “You’re the one I like. You’re the one I want to be with.”

He stopped breathing, staring at her with his lips parted, confused. 

She wasn’t confused. But it was all too much suddenly. She dropped his hands and covered her own cheeks, sitting back just slightly. Her blanket fell from her shoulders. He blinked and reached to pick it up, settling it back on her shoulders. “I don’t…” he whispered. “Tell me what you mean, Clarke.”

He was looking at her so seriously, as if she were a mission he had to figure out. She couldn’t resist, she leaned into him and kissed his lips, with the briefest touch. She was surprised how soft they were and she pulled back, feeling the heat come to her cheeks and a laugh rising after. “When I sent you into the Mountain, Bellamy. That was when I realized, that I loved you. It was terrible timing. I was terrified for you the entire time. I couldn’t get to you. I couldn’t keep you safe.”

“Me?” he said softly, stunned.

She nodded. “And I also realized that I was in love with you. That I still am.”

He shook his head no. “You left.”

“I was afraid.”

“Of me.”

“For you. Of myself. Of how I felt. Of everything. It was too much.”

“So you ran.” His chest filled with air and released it slowly.

She shrugged. “I’m sorry.” He was sitting even closer now, his watch ignored. “And I’m sorry I let myself fall in love with Lexa. I didn’t know I could love you both, but you were far away in Arkadia and so angry with me and you receded to this dull ache that I was trying to forget.”

“Don’t apologize. You needed her. I get it. It hurts, but I get it.”

She blinked at him. “You forgive me? For trying to forget you? For leaving you? For everything?”

He brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. “There’s nothing to forgive.” And then he kissed her. Warm and soft, and tender. 

She broke open, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

“Clarke,” he said, his voice shattered, pulling back. “But you ran again, just now. Running away from our people. I can’t— you can’t just run.”

“I didn’t run away, Bellamy. Not this time. I ran to you. I knew… I knew you would help me. That we were a team and we could figure it out together. I wouldn’t lose myself this time. I knew…”

“What?”

“I knew I was ready. To let you… to just be here with you.”

“I missed you Clarke. So much. I missed having you by my side.”

“Me, too. I missed you more than anything but I just wasn’t ready. I’m ready now. And I’ll wait for you to be ready, too. Unless—“ she stopped cold an idea chilling her. “Unless you don’t want to—”

“Fuck Clarke,” he swore. “I want to. I love you so much. I couldn’t stop. I wanted to. I couldn’t.” And then he was kissing her full of heat, hands running down her back, his mouth opening to hers. She tasted him, drank him in. Climbing into his lap, ready to lose all the boundaries.

Bellamy’s rifle clattered against a rock and Jaha startled across the fire.

“Shit,” Bellamy swore as Clarke scrambled off of him and back onto the log.

“What happened?” Jaha said, alert out of a sound sleep.

“Nothing,” Bellamy said, his voice gruff, deep. It sent shivers through her. “Go back to sleep Jaha, I dropped something.”

Jaha grunted and rolled over. He was quick to rise, but also he slept anywhere at the drop of a hat, almost like he was switched off. 

They waited until Jaha’s breath evened out again. 

Clarke found her own breath calming down. A wolf howled in the valley, it’s mournful cry rising up to them where they sat in silence. 

Bellamy picked up Clarke’s dropped blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders once again.

“We should…” he started, and smiled sadly, “not let ourselves get distracted.”

“Oh.”

“Someone could have come up, Clarke. I’m on watch. I wasn’t watching anything but you.”

She nodded. Of course he was right. 

“I love you, Bellamy. I’ll always love you.”

“Clarke,” he breathed out. 

“I told you Bellamy. I will wait for you. I know what I’ve done, and I needed it, and you gave it to me. I’ll give you whatever you need.”

His eyebrows drew together. So serious. “How did you know I was going to say we shouldn’t… not until we figure out how to save everyone?”

Clarke felt a warmth bloom inside of her. “Because I know you.” She slid close to him on the log and leaned her head on his shoulder, look out over the moonlit valley. They sat like that for a while.

“What does this mean, Clarke. What’s happening?” he said finally, after she wasn’t sure how long.

She sighed. “It means I’m with you. That’s just the way we are. We’re doing this together and we’ll figure it out and and I just want….” Her words failed.

“Want what, Clarke?”

“This. What we are to each other. Who we are. I want you to know that I love you, and you are enough.”

It took him a while before he responded, but he wrapped his arm around her and she snuggled into his chest. “Just the way it is?”

She let her hand smooth his jacket, just because she wanted to feel his good strong heart beat. “Whatever way it is. Whenever you’re ready.”

He pulled her closer and pressed a slow kiss to her forehead. “We’ll have time, Clarke,” he whispered into her skin. “I promise.”

“Oh I know we will,” she said with a smile, “We’re going to win, because I’m not losing you.”

He laughed then. “Yeah, it’s going to be a challenge not to be distracted by you. I love you, but we have a job to do, and I’m on watch, okay?”

She looked up at him and bit her lip, refraining from kissing him again. “I’ll watch with you.”

He breathed out and nodded. “Okay.”

They stayed there, watching the clouds scuttle across the sky and the breeze blow the tops of the trees. The wolves below howled now and again, but that was the only other sound of life.

When Jaha woke to take his watch, Bellamy pulled his bedroll next to hers, and they lay down together, just the way they were, and slept until dawn, in each other’s arms.


	2. Vendettas and Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Polis is in chaos and Echo has already made an attempt on Clarke's life. Roan intervenes and Roan, Clarke, Bellamy and Echo all come face to face. Truths come out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the-ships-to-rule-them-all said:  
> Bellarke fic prompts: my go to is always Everyone Sees it or Grounder characters/villains i.e. Dante and Allie thinking Bellarke are a couple and treating them as such

Clarke kept an eye on Roan as he dragged the woman he’d disarmed down the hall into a room in a lower level of the tower. She still felt the the press of the sword against her neck. Roan had intervened again and now she didn’t know what would happen next. The woman almost didn’t matter. Clarke’s secrets weighed on her. 

She shot a glance at Bellamy. He was watching the woman with suspicion, anger even. Bellamy knew her.

Clarke took Bellamy’s elbow and leaned close to him so she could speak to him without any of the nearby, muttering grounders hearing. “Who is she?” 

Bellamy compressed his lips. “That’s Echo. The grounder who told me the summit was a trap.”

Clarke gasped and watched Roan manhandle her into a room. “Azgeda.”

Bellamy nodded tightly. “She’s the grounder who saved me in Mount Weather. The one I released from the cages. Who was supposed to lead the resistance of the captives. Who all went running as soon as Lexa called.”

Bellamy’s tone was dark and bitter. Clarke looked at the woman in a new light, her sneers sent towards Clarke and the way she glowered at Roan like a child being scolded.

She avoided looking at Bellamy, though.

“She saved your life,” Clarke said so quietly she didn’t think Bellamy could have heard. But he turned to her, shocked.

“What?”

Roan waited for Bellamy and Clarke to enter the room and then had the guards wait outside, door closed. He turned to Echo.

“The Skaikru are the death bringers,” she spat, her chin thrust out as she challenged her king. “You must wipe them out as your mother wanted.”

“I am not my mother.” Roan growled. “I am your king and I am my own man. Keeping Wanheda alive serves my purpose.”

“Wanheda is the creature of Lexa. You must kill her and take her power. It is the only way to wield Nia’s power and take control of Azgeda as you should.”

Bellamy pulled Clarke behind him, as if he were her shield. Clarke hung onto his arm, “Bellamy, no, it’s okay,” she said. She knew Roan wouldn’t hurt her or let Echo hurt her either. 

Bellamy turned to face her, his hands grasping her arms. “Clarke we can’t trust them, you know it,” he said quietly, earnestly.

Over his shoulder Clarke saw the pain pass over Echo’s face, saw it settle into hate. “I will kill her for you, My king. It is my duty.”

“No, you damn well will not,” Bellamy focused on them, his hand going to his pistol.

Roan drew himself up to his full height and turned on Echo slowly.”Your duty is to follow my rule. I am the one who makes the decisions. You overstep yourself. Do not presume upon our friendship.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke said, “Bellamy, please,” she said, he still had her pulled up against him and she clutched at his shirt trying to get him to listen to her.

“I won’t let her hurt any more of us. I won’t let her hurt you—”

Echo’s face grew red. “Let me kill them both. I await your order.” Her voice was tight.

Roan did not respond. In the silence, Clarke heard Bellamy’s pistol being drawn from its holster.

Roan cocked an eyebrow and met Bellamy’s eyes, one hand raised as if to tell him to wait. Bellamy lowered his gun, wary, but… they’d come to some sort of understanding recently. 

“Echo,” Roan said. “You are a member of the royal guard. You are honor bound to follow my orders, and not your personal vendettas and jealousies.”

Echo drew in a hiss of breath.

“Jealousies?” Bellamy’s voice was darker, deeper in his confusion.

Roan grinned as he looked them, the way they were wrapped in each other’s arms. Clarke felt her cheeks grow hot with a blush. “My guard apparently has developed feelings for the hero of Mount Weather and has just realized that she stands no chance as long as Wanheda is alive.”

Bellamy suddenly let go of Clarke and took a half step away from her. “What?”

Roan was now full out smiling. Seeing his teeth exposed in a smile made Clarke want to step back into Bellamy, even though that would probably make Roan laugh. She settled for grabbing onto his sleeve.

Roan laughed anyway. “If she had explained the situation, I could have told her that her longing was hopeless. Belomi kom Skaikru has always belonged to Wanheda.”

“He doesn’t belong to me!” Clarke said feeling the blush spread down her throat. Burning with… she wasn’t sure what.

“And Wanheda has always belonged to Belomi Kom Skaikru.” Now he quirked his eyebrow at her, mockingly.

Her fingers were wrapped so tightly in Bellamy’s sleeve that they were losing circulation. Bellamy was blinking down at her. She let go of him.

But Roan was no longer paying attention to them. She got the feeling that he didn’t take them as a threat at all, and while she thought she should be insulted by that, she couldn’t let it bother her. The truth was he was her friend. They might be on different sides but she didn’t see him as a threat either, no matter how foolish that was with the might of the Azgeda armies behind him. Roan understood things that no other grounder of her alliance ever seemed to. Roan understood her. She swallowed heavily. It was a bit scary, but also gave her hope.

“Wanheda is of more use to me alive than dead. Her power isn’t in what she has done in the past, but what she is capable of doing next. She is mine.”

“Hey!” Bellamy protested.

’They are both mine,” Roan went on ignoring Bellamy’s outburst, except for a slight quirk of his lips. “If we all want to get out of this without more destruction, I want the Skaikru on my side. And I have them. They are my allies and you will not threaten that.”

“Yes Haihefa.” Echo let her head drop, chastened. Her shoulders tense and angry still. 

“I shall be reassigning you until further notice. You will not be needed during gym negotiations. We can use your skills on the training fields. Please speak to my lieutenant, now.”

“Yes, Haihefa.” Echo left the room stiffly. The door closed behind her.

“We have to tell him,” Clarke said. She knew it. She knew Bellamy knew it too.

Bellamy closed his eyes and sighed. “But we don’t know yet Clarke.”

“We know enough and he needs to know.”

“Have to tell me what?” Roan said, suddenly tense. All smiles fled.

Clarke took Bellamy’s hand and squeezed it. He sighed and nodded. “What we learned from ALIE.”

“What did we learn from ALIE?” Roan spit out through his teeth.

“The world is ending, Roan. The nuclear plants across the Earth have self-destructed and the radiation is spreading as we speak. Radiation storms are coming. We have six months before the Earth is unlivable. We…can’t survive,” Clarke said.

Bellamy shook his head, his hand wrapped around hers firmly and his gaze on the grounder king. “No. We’ll figure it out. We will survive.” His voice was sure. “Together.”


	3. Shelter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Future fic. The survivors have taken shelter in a bunker, under domes. While the Earth is lashed by radiation, Clarke and Bellamy find hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts  
> Anonymous said:  
> you are amazing! i hope one day you can write a fic about a pregnant clarke getting the flu and an already protective bellamy losing his mind? thank you for allowing us to do prompts! <3
> 
> Thanks nonny. Not quite pregnant Clarke with the flu... that scares me. The flu can be really dangerous for a pregnant woman, especially for the baby, so I made it FEAR of the flu. Hope you don't mind. Still protective Bellamy.
> 
> Look at me.  
> three fics in three days. I wonder how long I can keep it up.  
> Possibly until I get a fic that takes over and wants to be a novella. Those damn novellas.

It was quiet. 

Inside.

Outside the dome, Clarke could see the radiation storms roll through the land. She was the only one who would come to greenhouse during times like these. No one was used to it, yet, living in a bunker topped by domes, instead of out on the ground, under the sky, and the storms were so violent, many had a hard time trusting the plasglass to hold against them. Sometimes she thought the Sky People were more affected by it than the grounders, who were still rolling with the novelty of having these safe walls always protecting them.

For the Old Arkers, living in New Ark brought back memories of when they were trapped on a dying ship, always in danger of being floated and about to lose everything they’ve ever known. The way they fell from the sky in flames and blood. They were less likely to have claustrophobia, but more likely to have nightmares and flashbacks. Either way, they all stayed away from the greenhouse domes during radiation storms.

Clarke put her hand to her stomach and felt the stillness there. She knew there was a heart beating away in there, a child growing, but it wasn’t quite real yet. It still surprised her, a little bit, that she was capable of this, of bringing forth life. Her. Wanheda. Commander of Death. 

She was twelve weeks pregnant. And it was a secret, kept, for now, amongst a tiny handful of people. She asked for it to be kept secret, even though her mother had tried to argue that it would be a good thing for everyone, to know that there was still hope, that they were still living, that they could bring something new and innocent into the world in the face of all the death. 

She just wasn’t ready yet. And because this was her body, she was the one who got the say this time, no matter what anyone else thought was right. It was hers and she was holding it tight. Keeping it safe and quiet and hidden. 

“There you are, Clarke,” Bellamy’s voice came from the other end of the greenhouse. She couldn’t see him through the tomato plants, but he always said that her blonde hair shone like a beacon. 

She kept her eyes on the clouds so dark they were almost purple, and the flashing lightning that scalded the sky. She couldn’t hear the thunder through the dome. She listened instead to Bellamy’s boots clomping between the hydroponic stands. 

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, settling his palms on her lower abdomen, over where their baby lay inside of her.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice pitched low although there was no one here to listen in.

She leaned back into the shelter of his warmth. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Kane told me you had an appointment with your mom, and then you took off and no one could find you.”

Clarke laughed under her breath. “You found me.”

“Yeah, well, I know where you go when you want to contemplate the destruction of humanity.” He kissed her neck. “I wish you’d stop coming here. I know you’re just thinking about all the people left outside. It’s not good for you.”

“Also the trauma of living trapped in an underground rabbit warren,” she said, fake cheerful. Life was a non stop carnival at the end of the world. Clarke sighed heavily and he pulled her in even closer, hugging her. “Now my mom is taking me off clinic duty. I can’t believe her, Bellamy. This is ridiculous. I need to be able to help. She’s totally stepping outside of her bounds with this.”

She felt him still against her. “She’s really not, Clarke. She’s the head of medical and your doctor. She’s not going to do anything to endanger your health or our…” he stopped talking. They still weren’t talking about it in public. He was with her on that. He’d stood entirely on her side in the debate with Marcus and Abby about what was for the good of the survivors, and what was in Clarke’s best interest. If possible he’d gotten even more protective of her, treating her almost as if she were fragile.

“Oh.” She turned in his arms so she could see his face. “You didn’t.”

The muscle in his jaw ticked and his brows drew together. “I brought it up to her, yes. You shouldn’t be around people with contagious illnesses. We’re already in close quarters. I’ve seen what happens when the flu sweeps through Factory. You’re vulnerable.”

“Bellamy, my job is medical.”

“No, it’s not, Clarke. You have enough responsibility here that you can let your mom and Jackson and the other trainees take care of the health of the survivors. You need to take care of yourself and our baby.” He clamped his mouth closed. “Sorry.”

“For what? Saying the word or going behind my back to tell my mother to fire me.”

He tilted his head and sighed. “Well I was sorry for saying the word, but now I’m sorry for going behind your back. But I’m not sorry for getting you taken off of clinic duty. They’re on the front lines of illness, and someone could come in without even knowing they were contagious. I can’t risk losing—“ Now he was watching he storms roil over the dome. Refusing to look at her. His body tense.

“Dammit, Bellamy, we can’t keep doing this.” 

She wanted to be furious. But it wasn’t too long ago that she’d gotten him grounded after he’d gone out into the black rain one too many times and had come down with radiation sickness. It was early stages and treatable, but she’d panicked so hard she’d coerced Kane into reassignments, and put Bellamy on maps and salvage instead of search and rescue.

“I’m not going to stop protecting you, Clarke,” he growled finally looking down at her. The lightning flashes kept catching in his dark hair. “You won’t protect yourself. If you’re going to keep throwing yourself into danger, then I’m going to stand in your way to keep you from going over the cliff.”

“You idiot,” she sighed, and dropped her head to his chest. “Don’t you think Murphy didn’t tell me about you going over the cliff after that girl.”

“That was different.”

“The hell it was.” 

Bellamy brushed his fingers through her hair, then kissed the top of her head. “I love you Clarke. I can’t lose you. And now…” she looked up at him, at his small smile. “It’s even more important. You’re carrying our hope. Yours and mine. Theirs,” he nodded back towards the rest of the bunker, under cement shelters, buried below the land, of which only these few geodesic domes faced the poisonous sky. “Some day soon, these storms will pass.”

“To be followed by nuclear winter.”

“Which we can survive,” he said firmly. “And we are going to survive. And we’re going to grow. And we’re going to lead our people well and we’re not going to make all these old mistakes.”

“We’re going to make all new mistakes,” she grumbled.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be the one with vision of hope and success.” He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. It made the hard stone that had been sitting in her chest expand and brought tears to her eyes. “We’re safe now.”

The tears spilled. 

“Oh, Clarke.” He wiped her tears away with his thumb.

“I’m scared Bellamy. What if the radiation hurt the baby. What if it’s just one of those things. Even women before the nuclear war sometimes lost their pregnancies. If I act like this is real, stop working at the clinic and tell everyone, and it doesn’t work out, how is that good for anyone? All it will be is one more loss, one more broken hope, one more failure.”

He gathered her up in his arms, rubbing her back, kissing her face, letting her cry. When she was all cried out, the storm was still raging outside, but the worst of it had passed behind the mountain, leaving the skies a heavy dark gray, with the sun seeping through weakly. Even the little bit of cloudy sun helped the crops grow. 

And the tears helped her remember that she was still living and there was still hope. She sniffled a bit and then kissed his cheek.

“You all right now?”

“Are we still breathing?” she asked back at him, and grinned.

“Yeah.” He smiled at her and brushed her hair back, wiping away the tear tracks. “We’re safe, you know. We’re safe. We can be… happy.”

“What’s that like?”

His eyes softened. “It’s like what I feel when you’re in my arms.”

“Me too,” Clarke said and pulled him down for a real kiss. It had been months and months since she was able to do this, since they had found each other , and it still felt like a miracle every time. He was so dear, so loved, kissing him made her open up, made her larger than herself. His love made her more. 

She pulled away from him and he followed her, kissing her three more times in quick succession, making her smile with happiness. Yes. This was happiness, if even only for the moment. “We should tell everyone,” Clarke said, surprising herself.

Bellamy startled. “Yeah?”

She bit her lip. “I feel happiness. I feel hope, Bellamy. I want them to feel hope, too. We need hope.”

He nodded and blinked at her, as if it was a lot for him to handle.

She took his hand and threaded their fingers together. “The genetic tests already came back pretty good and my mom has an anatomy scan set up for tomorrow. I think we can take the chance. Taking the chance is hopeful.”

“And stop working at the clinic? I know we’re safe from the apocalypse, but it’s just common sense, Clarke.”

She sighed. “Okay. I’ll restrain myself to leading our people and making plans.”

“You could paint murals on the walls. Trees and rivers and fields. Give us something to look forward to, to remember.”

“There’s so much beauty in life, Bellamy.”

“We just have to get through this.”

She nodded and settled against him again. They both looked at the sky. The lightning faded now. The clouds were turning a bright pink. Was there a sunset up there somewhere, lit up by the radiation that they had to shelter from?

“It’s hope, Bellamy. The hope will get us through.”


	4. Claimed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Clarke and Bellamy have made it down from the tower in Polis, they find themselves surrounded by enemies. And unlikely allies. Who owes whom what? And who makes claims on whom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 prompt fics in 4 days. Go me. I'm striving mightily to keep from turning this into a novella. It might seem like this story could come right before another, and it could... except for one important detail, which is new. ;)
> 
> PROMPT  
> Anonymous said:  
> Hey! Would you write a fanfic where Bellamy kind of claims Clarke his and is all possessive and stuf, and she doesn't like at the begging but later starts to fall for him
> 
>  
> 
> These are barely edited so if any terrible errors pop out at you, feel free to tell me.

“They are the death bringers!” Echo pushed her way through the crowd of shocked and despairing grounders. Bellamy could feel the eyes of every grounder on them. Echo raised her arm and pointed an accusation at Clarke. “You did this.”

“We didn’t bring this. We stopped it!” Clarke said, planting her feet on the bloodstained ground. Bellamy narrowed his eyes at Echo. This was the first time he’d seen her since she’d betrayed him, sending him to the false trap in Polis while the real trap blew up those he was supposed to be protecting in Mount Weather. 

“Echo,” he warned, and pulled out his gun to aim.

Too late. Echo grabbed a handful of Clarke’s long tangled hair, yanking her nearly off her feet. Holding her up against her chest like a shield, Echo pressed her blade into Clarke’s neck. Clarke froze, looking back only at Bellamy.

“You!” she hissed into Clarke’s ear. “It’s your fault. You brought these sky rats to us and poisoned our leaders.”

Bellamy’s blood turned to ice. Everything else faded away. Just Echo, the anger on her face and that sword against Clarke’s skin. “Let her go.”

“This has nothing to do with you Bellamy,” said, turning the blade against Clarke’s skin. “We’ve fought together as comrades and I abandoned our battle, which you fought alone. You’ve earned your place here as a warrior. Turn away and I will let you take your warriors. Wanheda has wormed her way into our world. She is to blame for this. She must die for it, and the power she took will be returned to us.”

Bellamy trained his gun between Echo’s eyes. A drop of blood trickled down Clarke’s collarbone to meet the blood from the wound on her chest.

“You let her go. You owe me, Echo,” he growled. ”You know it. You used my trust to betray me and my people in a war that had nothing to do with us. Your honor is on the line. Give me Clarke. She’s mine.”

Bellamy saw Echo falter.

Roan pushed through the crowd, stumbling slightly. The ropes still attached to his wrists from his captivity. “This warrior has made a claim against your honor, Echo. He has the right. You broke your pact with him.”

“Twice,” Bellamy snarled, too focused on Echo holding Clarke to turn to face Roan.

“Twice.” Roan repeated. “In front of all our warriors, Belomi Kom Skaikru declares Wanheda his.” Bellamy watched Echo’s face pale at the words of her king and he couldn’t bother wondering about the note of humor in Roan’s voice. “You have declared him an acknowledged warrior. He has claimed her as his reparations for your treachery. So what will it be, Echo? Your honor or Wanheda? Or would you rather trial by battle to prove that you are innocent of his claims. Fight to the death with Belomi Kom Skaikru?”

“No!” Clarke squeaked. Echo yanked on her hair once more, going for one more cut on her neck, before shoving Clarke away. She stumbled, nearly falling to her knees, but Bellamy caught her before she could fall, relief washing over him.

Clarke spun in his arms and finally drew her gun, pointing it at Echo, a snarl on her face. Bellamy followed suit and raised his again, too.

Roan laughed. Bellamy finally looked at him. He looked entirely too pleased with himself. “Both of you can stand down. Echo has relinquished her complaint against Wanheda. And I, King of Azgeda put you under my protection. You are safe from my people.”

“How can we trust you?” Bellamy asked, not wanting to trust him, although he was already feeling better with Roan there. When did he start trusting the grounder king?

“Because the both of you know that we can come to mutually beneficial agreements. And I will not have that threatened by the vengeance of my people against those who have already paid for their sins with their lives. Their war is over. Azgeda and The Coalition. Skaikru. The old world is over. This is a new age of cooperation and alliance.”

Clarke lowered her gun but Bellamy wasn’t quite so willing.

“Tend to your betrothed, Bellamy,” Roan said. “She’s bleeding. I give you and your people safe passage back to Arkadia.”

Bellamy let his gun drop, shocked.

“His what?” Clarke said.

“My betrothed?” 

Roan raised an eyebrow. “I am not familiar with Skaikru traditions. Does the public claim act as a marriage for you even without formal vows? Our people require a ceremony in front of a holy one. Or did I miss the ceremony while I was on the cross?”

“No. We haven’t…” Clarke’s words faltered. 

“We get to go home without having our lives threatened?” Bellamy asked, his head whirling a bit.

“That is what I said.”

“But…” Clarke started.

They were going to get out of this alive, he thought for the first time. He put an arm around Clarke and pulled her in to him. He did not let himself think about how good that felt. Not yet. Not now.

“These are the rules of the grounders. She owes me for her treachery on the battlefield. If you are mine, I can claim you for restitution. Wanheda is safe.” He could barely breathe. “She can’t touch you.”

Clarke blinked up at him. Her face was pale but her eyes were so blue.

“Is this true?” she asked Roan.

He grinned that infernal grin again. “It is, Wanheda.”

“With our people?” she asked. He nodded. “Because Bellamy and I are… betrothed.”

He smirked.

“Thank you,” she said, then turned to Bellamy and kissed him on the lips so swiftly that he didn’t even have the time to react. “Let’s get our people out of here, Bellamy,” she said.

Bellamy blinked and nodded then looked up. Their people were there, on edge in the crowd. He raised his arm and motioned them to move. “Let’s go!”

Kane and Abby and Miller and the rest sprung into action, rounding up the civilians. Clarke’s grasp on his arm was so tight he wasn’t sure he’d be able to dislodge her even if he wanted to. “May we meet again, King Roan,” he said, nodding with his silent thanks. Not sure what exactly had just happened, but filled, surprisingly, impossibly, with hope.

Roan nodded back. “May we meet again, Belomi Kom Skaikru.”

Clarke dragged him off, and he was willing to go. As long as they were together.


	5. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy comes upon an intimate meeting between Clarke and Roan.
> 
> He should have known....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ask and ye shall receive.
> 
> From Wright on AO3  
>  I would love for you to write one where Bellamy is jealous of Roan and Clarke's friendship because he believes that Roan is wanting more than friendship from Clarke.

One crisis averted, Bellamy left the Arkadians to get the wounded into the rover. It would be a long trip back home. But they had to do it before they could start working on the larger crisis of the impending apocalypse.

Bellamy couldn’t let himself think about it. Not now while they were still trying to get their people together and help stabilize Polis and stop yet another war.

Bellamy was so tired of war.

Head down, he marched through the halls of the Polis tower, to the temporary ground floor council room. It wasn’t as private, lacking any functional door, but Roan’s guards kept out the stragglers.

They were just lucky that Clarke had enough of a relationship with Roan from her time in Polis that he was willing to be allies, and not wipe the Arkadians out totally, like the grounders were likely to do.

The Azgeda guard glared at him as he approached, but Bellamy glared in return, challenging. He was supposed to be here, meeting with Clarke and Roan. He’d only left to deal with the rover issue, and now he was back. The guard let him pass without comment.

Bellamy slowed down as he neared Clarke and Roan, hearing them talking intensely and not wanting to interrupt.

“You know me, Roan. We’re the same. You know how much I care.” He heard Clarke say, her voice low and intimate. His heart started pounding hard, for no good reason.

“I thought I did, but I have to question if your feelings are real or just an act. I won’t put myself on the line if this is just a game.” Bellamy had never heard Roan speak with such emotion. He felt a cold stone grow in the pit of his stomach.

“It’s not a game, Roan!” she said passionately. “I care!”

Bellamy froze behind the last pillar. He could just see Clarke, her blonde hair falling tangled down her back and the side of her face. She looked at Roan as if he were the only person in world. 

Roan stepped forward and grasped both of her arms firmly. “Clarke…” he said, his voice low and raspy, as if this were only the beginning.

The cold stone in his stomach spread. Took over. He should have known. Clarke trusted him too much. She believed in him. And here Bellamy was, just beginning to hope that what she felt for him was more than just a partnership, was…

Of course not. She’d never made any confusion about it, had she? She needed him for the mission. It had always been for the mission and it had always been for their people and that was who they were to each other.

Bellamy laughed because he couldn’t help it and Clarke whipped her head around.

“Bellamy?” she asked. He’d interrupted. He felt the fool, but well, it wasn’t the first time, was it? He stepped out from behind the pillar and Clarke turned from Roan to Bellamy. Roan also turned and glowered at him, the intruder.

“Yeah,” he tried to say. It didn’t come out. He cleared his throat. “I’m here.”

She breathed a sigh. Bellamy was definitely intruding. Clearly. “Bellamy, tell Roan that he can believe me. He can trust me.”

Bellamy’s jaw dropped as he looked at her. Was she really asking him to…? “Uh, yeah. Of course. If Clarke loves you then she’s going to be behind you 100% percent. That’s who she is. She supports the people she loves.”

“What?” Clarke said, blinking at him.

“If Clarke…” Roan stopped glaring at Bellamy and raised his eyebrows so far they were hidden by his crown. “What do you think we were talking about here?”

Bellamy grit his teeth and let out a breath through them. He could do this. They needed Roan to get through this. They needed his power. They needed to not be destroyed by his armies. Of course Clarke would turn to him. Of course. It made so much sense now. She trusted Bellamy as her knight. But here was the king and she needed him on her side. Bellamy would help her do that. “Allies,” he said. 

“Right.” Clarke agreed.

“And what better way to ally than with a formal arrangement?”

“What?” Clarke didn’t sound like she agreed.

Roan kept staring.

“That’s how your people do it, isn’t it? How you join your peoples without the risk of a coalition, and conflicting politics? What better way? I’ve seen you. You care for her. And she cares for you. This is the clearest, most logical solution. A marriage between you.”

“WHAT?” Clarke said. She glared at him furiously.

Bellamy closed his eyes and took a breath before starting again. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t the right way, was it? I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not logic. She loves you. If she says she loves you. She loves you. She’ll do anything for the people she loves, Roan. You can believe her love to be real.”

Roan threw his head back and laughed. The sound rang through the open hall and echoed back at him. Bellamy clenched his teeth.

Clarke shoved him in the shoulder and spun him around. “Stop saying I love him, you ass!”

“What?” he stared down at her. “I thought you wanted me to back you up? This is what’s best for our people. I support you. This is the best way for us to gain allies. And it works because you’re in love with him.”

Clarke gaped at him and then punched him in the chest, hard. He took a step back. “You ass! I don’t want to marry him. I just want you to tell him that I will help save his people because we aren’t saving just our own anymore! What the fuck, Bellamy? I’m in love with YOU, you idiot.”

“What?” Bellamy said, dazed. 

“She said she’s in love with you, you idiot,” Roan said between his chuckles.

He looked between Clarke and Roan. Roan and Clarke. “What?”

“How am I always present for these moments? How have neither of you realized that you’re both in love with each other? I would say that I have to suffer through these exchanges, but they are really very enlightening. You sky people aren’t any different than us. Still just little people wanting to be loved and hurting when you’re alone, lashing out when it hurts to much. We act tough and fight, and you act untouchable with your technology, but we’re all the same. Humans.”

Clarke reached out to Bellamy and grabbed onto his arm, pulling her in to him. He would have resisted but he couldn’t actually, just in that moment. 

“Yes, humans, Roan,” she said, imploringly. “We’re all human. I’m not just trying… we’re not just trying to save our own tribes now, we have to be concerned with humanity. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the beauty within the brutality of your world. It’s the same as ours. We can work together, to save all our people.”

Roan was sobered now. The coming apocalypse was no laughing matter. He nodded seriously to Clarke then turned to Bellamy. “And you Belomi kom Skaikru? What do you think?”

“What?” he said. Still without words.

Roan laughed again. “I keep trying to hate you two, and it just doesn’t work.” He held an arm out to Bellamy and Bellamy grasped it with his own, on instinct. Roan let go and grasped arms with Clarke. “Allies,” he said.

“Allies,” she repeated. “We’ll figure this out, together.”

Before he released Clarke’s arm, he looked back at Bellamy.

“Allies,” Bellamy agreed, automatically, feeling somehow frozen, even while this was all going on.

Roan rolled his eyes. “I’ll give you two the hall and make sure no one disturbs you.” He let go and stood back. “Tell her how you feel, man. Tell her.” Bellamy watched him go, his grand coat billowing behind him as he walked out. 

He finally turned to Clarke, who was looking up at him with the strangest expression in her eyes. 

“Bellamy…” she said, and there were a million feelings in the one word. 

Bellamy had none. He pulled her towards him and just, simply, kissed her.


	6. Thankful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds a book of Greek Mythology. It reminds her of Bellamy and she thinks he should have it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> Hi! I follow you because of your metas but if you're taking prompts I have one. Clarke finds a kind of library in a bunker/Polis/... and she steals one of them about mythology to give it to Bellamy because she knows he loves books and she wants to thank him for all somehow.

They were almost ready to get out of Polis. Murphy, Clarke and Abby were in Titus’s lair, because Murphy knew of some medical supplies that Titus had used when he’d tortured Murphy. Clarke and Abby both winced at that, for different reasons, maybe, but they went with him to scavenge. 

Clarke was helping her mom with the surgical supplies and disinfectants, picking at her shirt, which stuck to her skin with the dried and sticky blood that had soaked into it.

Abby watched her every movement, guiltily. 

“I’m…I’m going to get a new shirt,” Clarke said. “This is where I found this one, there are others…”

“Mmh,” Abby said. Clarke could see the memories in her face. Murphy narrowed his eyes at the both of them, watching where Abby’s eyes tracked and putting the pieces together.

“Yeah, I’ll keep her away from the scalpels, Clarke. Don’t worry.”

“Murphy!” Clarke scolded.

Abby let out a bitter laugh. “No, it’s okay. He’s…” Clarke wondered what she was about to say. He was right? “He’s okay.” She laughed again. “It wasn’t me, I know that. But it feels like it was me.”

Murphy’s face turned thoughtful. He dropped his head. Clarke wondered, not for the first time, what had happened to him when she’d left him behind in Polis. 

“Murphy…” Clarke started and took a step towards him. 

Abby stepped between them, glancing quickly at the scalpel cuts on her chest. “No, go change. We’ve got to go soon.”

Clarke nodded and moved off to the small alcove with the wardrobe. A glance back and she saw Abby putting an arm around Murphy, talking low to him so that Clarke didn’t hear.

She was tired of Polis. Of the grief that her people endured here. She wanted to leave.

Most of the clothes in the wardrobe were warrior’s clothes, studded and armored and padded and plated. She dug around to find something that wasn’t so hard to wear. At the very back, she found a soft woven shirt, loose, in a soft gray, probably made for someone much bigger than her. She pulled off the black shirt she’d been wearing, grimacing at the dried blood that had stuck to her skin. She scrubbed her skin with the old shirt and then pulled the new one on over her head, tying it at the neckline so it didn’t gape open. It fell down way past her hips, so she grabbed a belt to cinch it from a hook on the wall. The whole wall shifted.

There was something in there. 

Swiftly wrapping the belt around her hips and buckling it, she hooked her fingers into the crack that had been exposed and pulled. Without effort, the wall slid open.

It was a book shelf.

Clarke laughed to herself. Lining the shelves were romance novels. The kind that the girls in school used to share on their tablets. Things they’d found in their parents’ private files and copied surreptitiously. Here was a whole wall full of smutty romances, bound in paper and cardboard, from the pre-cataclysm times. Heirloom smut. 

She couldn’t stop laughing as she pulled book after book out, glancing at the pictures of heroines with flowing hair and heroes with bare chests. The thought of Titus hiding smutty romances made her think of the man in a new light. She’d found her clothes and she wanted to let her mother and Murphy have time to talk, so she flipped through the books, scanning passages of shocking sex and romance. 

The romance was almost more shocking than the sex. She couldn’t imagine Titus as a person who was interested in romance. And then she became sad. 

These books were hidden away. Something that he couldn’t keep out, not even in his private lair. Secret. She stopped flipping through the pages and just looked at the cover paintings. She liked art. She liked imagining painting something like that. Here was a heroine that reminded her of Lexa, long brown hair and the face of a renaissance angel. But Lexa had never looked that vulnerable. And the girl she posed with was a fierce pirate with flaming red hair, a cutlass and muscles that were really impressive. She held the angel girl in a strong embrace, against enemies in the distance. She put the book back. 

Sad.

So why did she keep taking the books out to look at them? Here was someone who looked like Wells, and she felt a pang of guilt. Wells never got to hold a beautiful maiden like the olive skinned princess on the cover of that book. Sad.

She swallowed heavily and put that book back too, running her fingers over the spines as she read the titles, heavily weighted towards dramatic and flowery. She could almost imagine the painted heroes and heroines.

Her fingers paused on the plain black letters in the sea of fancy script and florid colors. “The Greek Gods,” they read.

Bellamy’s face flashed through her head. His black curls blowing in the wind. His bronze skin. His broad shoulders. Her heart stuttered in her chest. 

She took the book out. Paper. And small enough to fit in her pocket. There was no picture on cover.

She didn’t need one. The picture in her head was Bellamy. He was the hero of her story. In all the ways she could think.

She flipped through the book and noted the fragile pages. They were delicate, and precious. The stories had titles like “Cerberus,” and “Persephone and Hades.” “Atlas,” and “Pandora.” She read the words, but in her head, all she could think of was “Bellamy.”

“Clarke!” Abby called from the other part of the lair. “Are you ready? We’re packed up and we need to get going. Marcus and Bellamy are waiting for us.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Of course,” and without thinking she put the book into her back pocket. The long shirt covered it. She couldn’t think of it now. She had to get her people back to Arkadia.

***

They didn’t take the rover back to Arkadia. That was busy ferrying the worst of the wounded, and then after, the bodies.

Instead, Bellamy and Clarke lead the able-bodied on the trek home. They set up the camp half way, sharing the few tents between them. Clarke didn’t take a tent. She felt somehow that she didn’t deserve one. She grabbed a bed roll, though, and set it up by one of the bonfires. The one where Bellamy sat, alert.

She turned to Bellamy. “You gonna sit up all night guarding everyone? Where’s your bedroll?”

He looked at her and huffed a laugh. “I don’t… I’m not going off duty.”

“Excuse me? You’re not going off duty? We have all of Arkadia taking turns on watch tonight, and a lot of them were not in the thick of any battle. You’ve been going non stop for days and I know because I was with you.”

“No,” Bellamy said and looked at her. For a second she thought he was really looking at her, as if he wanted something from her. With her. But then he turned to the fire. “I can’t.”

“Bellamy,” she sighed, sadly. “You need to rest.”

“Yeah, well, there are no bedrolls left. They’re all gone to the people who need one.”

“You need one.”

“I’m fine.”

“Bellamy…” this time her sigh was disappointed. “No. Come share mine with me.”

His head snapped up to look at her. “What?”

“Doesn’t anyone ever take care of you? You can’t be on watch after all you’ve done. You can’t just not sleep. We need you and we need you functioning. Share with me.” It would be tight. They would have to lie close together. She couldn’t pretend the thought didn’t make her heart speed up. She pushed it down. “Come here,” she said as she dropped down on her blankets.

He stared at her, his mouth half open. 

“Please,” she said.

He swallowed and nodded, getting up to follow. She shifted for him, trying to give him room and get comfortable, but not being able to. When he dropped down next to her she realized. “Oh!” she said. 

“What?” he started to get up as if he had offended her. She grabbed onto his bicep.

“No, not you. It’s just. I had something in my pocket I forgot about.”

He took a breath, nervous. “What?”

She reached behind her and pulled the book out. 

“This.” She held it out to him. “I saw it and thought of you.”

He blinked and stared, his hand lifting to touch it, but not daring.

“Go ahead. It’s yours. I stole it from Titus’s stash.”

A quick grin flashed across his face. “You’re a thief.”

“Yeah, well he owed me. Or he owed Murphy. He owed all of us. Crap I don’t even care. He’s dead. Take the book, it’s yours.”

He took the book and flipped reverently through the pages, carefully. “This is new. I don’t know this version. I’ve never even heard of some of these stories. I didn’t know we didn’t have all the greek myths in the Ark files. Clarke this is amazing. Thank you.”

The wonder on his face made her lean over and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Thank you,” she said.

He turned to her, his eyes half lidded. “For what?”

“For being you.”

He reeled slightly, blinking at her. “Do you want me to read to you?”

“Yes, but not now. I’m so tired, Bellamy. The guards are on watch. Will you lay with me until I fall asleep?”

He swallowed and nodded and they lay down on the bedroll. Bellamy tucked the blankets around them, his arms coming to wrap around her back as she pressed her cheek to his chest. “Okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she breathed, just glad to be surrounded by his warmth, his heartbeat. Him. She listened to his breathing until it evened out. 

Clarke looked up at him. He was asleep. His face was so peaceful. “Thank you,” she said, and she didn’t know who she was thanking. 

Maybe there were some gods in the sky writing their story, putting them through all this pain. If there were, she wanted to them to know that she was thankful for this moment. And this man. 

Clarke fell asleep in Bellamy’s arms soon after.


	7. Shelter Part 2, Worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When pregnant Clarke goes missing inside of the bunker, Bellamy thinks he's being needlessly worried. But when he finds her, she is actually sick, and he's never going to stop worrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon guest on AO3: I would love to see a part two to this [Shelter] where maybe Clarke catches a cold and bellamy THINKS it's the flu and bugs out? I'm just always wanting to see some nurse bellamy and exasperated protective bellamy and I thought what better way than seeing bellamy react to taking care of an already vulnerable Clarke.

Bellamy couldn’t find Clarke again. 

When first Abby, then Raven, and then Monty came to him looking for her because they’d had a fight with her and then she’d gone off, he had to grit his teeth and forcibly fight back the memories of when she’d really been gone, for months and months, and none of them had known where she was. 

They all fought back those urges, and that’s why they came to Bellamy when she ran off, because they knew he’d drop everything to go and find her. Especially since she’d gotten pregnant. He knew how worried everyone was over her, all the time. Even though she’d told them all to stop, because all she wanted was some time and space to herself.

The gods knew that it was had to find space to be alone inside Dome Bunker. And he knew she had a deep and abiding need for solitude when the memories came upon her, or the worries about the future of humanity. But if anyone else came to find her, it would throw her into one of those dark moods, nearly feral. It had to be Bellamy. He was the only one that she’d let close during these times. 

And he just had to make sure she was okay.

Even if in his heart of hearts he knew she was okay. Because they were all safe now. Safe. 

When the alerts went off, popping up discretely on his tablet, warning that one of the radiation storms was passing overhead, Bellamy knew where Clarke was.

He checked the main dome greenhouse, full of vegetables and fruit and honey bees. But she wasn’t there. The grain and soy greenhouse was also empty of anyone, not just her. The survivors avoided these radiations storms raining down upon them, and the black rivulets that looked like death as they ran down the pitted plasglass.

A feeling of doom settled on him and he tried to brush it off. It was just the storm, and his anxiety. Just his memories. They were all safe. Clarke was safe. And he would find her, probably curled up with a tablet, reading or something equally innocuous.

All the same, he practically ran down the access hall to the last dome. Everyone in the corridor saw him and pressed against the narrow walls to get out of his way. 

He took a deep breath before he entered the dome, not wanting to worry Clarke with his irrational fears. Or more likely, have her mock him when she was simply collecting herbal remedies. 

He pushed the airlock door open. The medicinal dome smelled better than all the others, floral and spicy, where the others were green or earthy. All reminders of how beautiful the Earth could be, once was, but this was the one that transported you somewhere else. 

“Clarke?” He called, softly at first. Not wanting to make her anxious with his worry. She was eight months along in her pregnancy, uncomfortable and the pissiest he’d ever known her to be. 

The medicinal dome was silent, except for the black rain hissing down upon the plasglass. “Dammit,” he swore under his breath. He’d really have to think to find out where she’d hidden herself if she wasn’t in the domes during these storms. She didn’t know why they drew her, but they did. Maybe she liked knowing the danger that was coming. He could understand that.

“Clarke?” he called again, this time louder, because she wasn’t here and it didn’t matter how loud he called in his anxiety, she wouldn’t be pissed off by what she didn’t hear. 

He heaved a frustrated sigh, but checked through the aisles just to make sure she wasn’t plugged into some music and not listening or something.

In amongst plot with tall flowering plants on stalks, Bellamy found her.

She was curled up on the soil, underneath the leaves.

His heart leapt in his chest and he ran to her.

“Clarke!” he cried, and brushed her tangled hair back from her face. It was burning hot and flushed. “Clarke?”

He pulled her into his arms. “Clarke? Wake up baby.”

“Bellamy?” Her head lolled on his shoulder. “I’m having such bad dreams.” She patted his chest as if to make sure he was real, then clutched at him. “I don’t like it.”

“I’m here, Clarke. You’re sick,” his heart raced remembering the beginning of radiation sickness, but he kept his voice calm for her. “You’re burning up.” He stood up with her in his arms, not letting her go once. “I’m taking you to your mother, okay?”

“It’s nothing, Bellamy, just the flu. I don’t feel well.” Her voice was weak, and she fell back into silence while he maneuvered her through the aisles of pharmaceuticals. Then she gasped. Her eyes fluttered open. “The baby, Bellamy? Is the baby okay?”

“I’m going to get you to your mom, okay?”

“Yes Bellamy, please. Oh my head.” She coughed. “I just wanted to sit under the flowers. I thought I was being too angry at everyone and needed to take a break.”

Bellamy laughed as he marched through the halls with her. This time the people didn’t get out of his way, they looked at him carrying Clarke and ran. He heard them calling for Abby at the far end of the corridor. “You were too angry at every one,” he said, his voice light. “Three different people came to tell on you.” 

At least the medicinal dome was close to the clinic. He kept walking, fast trying not to jar her.

Abby came running. “What happened?” she said, her doctor persona taking over, although Bellamy knew for a fact how scared she was for Clarke.

“I just wanted to rest, mom,” Clarke said, blinking at her. She coughed. “It came on fast.”

“I found her passed out under the flowers in the medicinal dome.”

Abby checked Clarke’s pulse, and nodded. “Bring her to the clinic and I’ll take care of her.”

“The baby, mom. Save the baby.” Clarke grabbed Abby’s hand and Bellamy’s pulse shot through the roof. Was Clarke in real danger? 

“We’ll take care of everything, Clarke. Don’t worry.” And then Abby looked up at Bellamy. “Don’t worry.”

He clenched his jaw and nodded, then took Clarke to the clinic, where they already had a bed set up for her and waiting.

***

Clarke woke up hours later. Her eyes opened slowly and she caught his. She smiled. Then he saw the worry come back in. “Is the baby okay?”

He nodded and brushed her hair back from her cool forehead. “They fever broke a while ago. You’ve been sleeping. It’s the flu.”

She made a face. “I said it was the flu, didn’t I?” She looked around at the quarantine ward. “Why am I still in the clinic? Isolation? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Bellamy said, and squeezed her hand. “Your mother said I could take you home, but I said you should stay here to make sure.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “I want to go home.”

“But your mother can take care of you if anything goes wrong. You should stay in the clinic.”

She shook her head. Pointed at the bottle of medicine on the table next to her. “That’s mine? I’m taking it and going him. IF you’re worried about me catching what other contagious people have, then you want me to go home away from everyone.”

“You’re in the quarantine ward, that’s fine.”

“It is not fine. I want to go home.” She sat up and swung her legs out of the bed. 

He caught her as she collapsed.

“No, no, Bellamy, I just got up too fast. Don’t get any funny ideas,” she said, her face twisted in frustration but she let him hold her, resting her head on his shoulder. “Just a moment.”

“You should stay here,” he said after a moment. “I would feel better. I want you to be safe and healthy.”

She rolled her head back and looked up at him. “God Bellamy, it’s just the stupid flu. I’m a medical apprentice. I know how to treat the flu, and I’ll have the best, most attentive nurse.” She smiled at him. “You.” She must have been feeling better, because it was a really good smile and almost had him convinced. But then she started coughing again.

“Nope,” he said. 

She smacked him on the chest and called out. “MOM! Mom! Dr Griffin! MOM!!!”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m getting the doctor to release me, you over protective goon.”

“Yeah that’ll work a lot better when you can stand on your own two feet.” 

Abby opened the door looking worried. She saw Clarke in Bellamy’s arms and said, “What’s the matter?”

“I want to go home.”

“I want her to stay. She can’t even stand.”

“I just got up too fast, and I’m not going to stand, I’m going to lay down in my bed and you’re going to take care of me. Mom, tell him it’s just the flu and I just need bed rest and fluids and anti viral and I’ll be fine. Everything’s okay, right? The baby?”

“Yes. Everything is okay. You were dehydrated a bit but we gave you some fluids and antibiotics. You’re perfectly fine to go home.”

“But—“ Bellamy started, clenching his jaw because Clarke needed medical care.

“There’s no but. She’s sick but just needs to rest, and get proper care and everything will be fine. The baby is fine and you need take your wife home so you can obsess over her. I’ve talked to Kane, he’ll take over for you on council for a while. Take Clarke and put her to bed, Bellamy. I will come by to check on her after my shift.”

Abby smiled serenely and Clarke grinned smugly before a coughing fit took her. But Bellamy decided it wasn’t worth it to argue because all he wanted to do, really, was get into bed with her and wrap his arms around her and make sure she and their baby were safe.

20 minutes later that’s where they were, in their quarters, where he’d made her a steaming mug of hot honey tea and put her to bed. He tucked the blanket around her and got in next to her, his hand settling on her belly, feeling the strong movements of their child inside of him. They were okay. They were all okay.

She tucked herself up close to him, under his arm. He dropped a kiss onto her forehead and it was blessedly cool. She sniffled a little. 

“Read to me?” she asked, her voice small.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” He asked as he reached for the old book from his nightstand without ever letting her go.

“No.” She shook her head and kissed his neck below his jaw. “I knew you’d take care of me.”

And he would. As long as he was still breathing.


	8. Black Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is caught out in the black rain. Bellamy is going to get her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two prompts, because they bled together in my head into the same story.
> 
> Anonymous said:  
> Prompt: Bellamy going out in that black rain to find Clarke who had gone out with no protection before the storm hit. (a little nurse!Bellamy would be a huge bonus <3) Cause lets be honest....even though logically we all know thats not what Bellamy is doing, we HAVE ALL IMAGINED THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BELLAMY IS DOING IN THAT PROMO. would love to see your take, i love your writing. thank you! hope you like it :)
> 
> missyriver said:  
> A promt for you. Bellamy gets delirious from lack of sleep/refusing to sleep. That he loses his filter and starts saying things out loud without meaning. "Wow Clarke's eyes are so blue I should tell her"

They argued with him. Kane did. Monty did. Miller. They said that Clarke would be fine out there. She was smart and she knew how to take cover when the black rain came. But he knew the area she’d gone for seed collecting, and he knew the shelter in that region was sparse. They’d been banking on the weather patterns staying the same, at least for a little while longer.

But they hadn’t stayed the same, and this poisonous storm had come out of the south instead of the west. And Clarke was out there. 

Kane argued, but Abby was the one who handed him the pressure suit, and Raven was the one who held the door open for him.

“Remember, stay out of the worst of the cloud bursts, any way you can. That black rain is corrosive, and these suits are not invulnerable.”

He nodded and went out into the deadly black storm.  
***

When he found the seed collection team, holed up in a basement bunker, farther out than they were supposed to go, they were all safe. Clarke had gotten them to safety when she’d first noticed the smudge of ominous gray on the horizon, but another collector had gone to the other side of the hill to collect vital antibacterial mold spores.

“I told her not to go,” Jackson said. “But she glared at me and put me in charge of them, and went anyway.”

Bellamy wanted to be mad at Jackson for letting her go, but he just grit his jaw and put his helmet back on, fastening the locks. As if Jackson could have told Clarke what to do anyway.

“She knows how to take care of herself, Bellamy. She took one of those new shelter tarps for an emergency.”

Bellamy shook his head tightly. “Those are still experimental and they weren’t even made to stand up to a full black rain. Just to get people to a shelter.”

“But that’s all she needed it for,” Jackson called out after him as he went back into the black rain. “She’s a survivor!”

Too late. He’d told Bellamy which direction she’d gone and he was going to get her back. His heart raced. She shouldn’t be out there, so far from shelter, alone.

Bellamy could see the darker storm coming in. The trees were being stripped of leaves by the black rain and he could see the wall of black that was rapidly heading in. He was no fool. Raven told him the suit couldn’t withstand a black squall. He was about to turn back when he saw a flash of neon orange on the ground half way up the hill. The only reason he could see it was because the leaves had been stripped off of all the trees and bushes

The shape of a body.

He took off running. It was hard in the suit and he saw the storm coming, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t stop himself. He should be running back to Jackson until the storm passed but all he could think was it might be Clarke.

Clarke. 

The black rain began falling so hard that he could barely see through his faceplate. The dark sludge slowly rippling down in front of his face. Against the harsh breathing in his ears, he could hear the sizzle of the black rain beginning to eat through his suit.

But he had to get to Clarke.

His feet started slowing down. He had been searching too long. 

But finally he was there. The body dressed in neon orange so she wouldn’t get lost.

He fell to his knees and flipped the body over. It was Clarke. He was sure.

He reached up to wipe his faceplate, smearing the smudge but enough to see the heavy, black soot-worn features of a man. Much bigger than Clarke. Bigger than him even, he should have been able to tell by the shape.

Not Clarke. 

He staggered to his feet turning to head back down to the shelter with Jackson, hearing the sizzling pressure suit, knowing that he was probably done for.

Especially when his legs stopped working. When he fell back to his knees in the blackening fallen leaves.

“Get up!” he heard the voice. Familiar voice.

“Get up!” It was coming clearer.

He looked up at the figure coming out of the denuded woods. “Get up, damn you! There’s shelter right up here, come on!”

And then she was there, the shelter tarp held wrapped around her and an oxygen mask held to her face. The fumes from the black rain were poisonous. 

He stumbled up the hill, not really sure how he got his legs moving except for that it was Clarke calling him and there was no way he wouldn’t come if Clarke called him. 

There was a cave entrance. Or maybe it was a half collapsed building, sometimes it was hard to tell. 

“Inside now!” She commanded and he smiled, because that was his princess, always commanding, always telling them the way they should do things because she was always right.

He wanted to laugh.

Except when he was right and she was wrong because that’s the way they were.

She herded him into the entrance and clanged a heavy door behind them.

“Take that suit off!” She commanded again. He wanted to laugh again. But then she reached for him.

“Don’t touch me, Clarke! I’m covered with back rain!”

“Bellamy?” she stopped reaching for him and instead stared up at him in horror. Why horror? Was she so sorry to see him? Why? 

“Bellamy? What are you doing here? Why are you out here?”

“I couldn’t leave you out in the black rain, princess. I couldn’t.” He didn’t know if the words came out, actually.

“Take that off Bellamy, take the suit off!”

He smiled again but found himself on the ground, looking up at her. 

And then she was ripping off his helmet with her own hands. He fought her. “Stop, princess, stop. You’ll burn yourself,” he felt weak and ineffectual and then the helmet was off. 

“Oh, there you are! I’m so glad.”

Clarke looked panicked and he didn’t know why. He’d found her. She was safe. He breathed a huge sigh of relief and then coughed. All of a sudden,Clarke was covering his mouth with her mask. It was hot and he didn’t like it. He tried to push it away.

“No Bellamy, you need the oxygen. Your suit was compromised. You’ve been breathing in the poison gasses. Bellamy, stop fighting me, listen to me.”

He shoved the mask away. “You’re not supposed to touch me, princess, because I love you and you’ll burn yourself.”

“Oh Bellamy!” he watched her eyes fill with tears. 

“Your eyes are so blue,” he said and reached out to brush the tears away when he realized he still had the suit gloves on. He stripped them off carefully because he was not supposed to let the black rain touch his skin. 

He tossed them down and reached up. “Don’t cry, Clarke, don’t you know how much I love you?”

She was stripping off the locks of his suit. “No, princess, don’t you’ll hurt—“

“Shut up Bellamy, I know what I’m doing and you need to get this thing off so the black rain doesn’t start burning through. Come on, help me out.”

He sat up and she pulled the thing off. He made sure she only touched him with the shelter tarp. He made sure.

And she kept pushing the oxygen on him.

And then she’d finally thrown the ruined pressure suit out the door with the black rain still hissing down, and she settled him in the corner, with her baskets of herbs and her pack and had a blanket wrapped around him 

And he pulled her down into his lap.

“We’re stuck here until the black rain ends. Can I hold you?” He asked and only vaguely understood that he shouldn’t ask something so personal of her, but instead of telling him to go float himself she broke out into tears again and curled up in his lap with her nose tucked into the crook of his neck and he could feel the tears wet his skin.

“Take the oxygen Clarke, I think you’re being affected by the poison gasses.”

Then she was laughing. “You idiot! How could you risk yourself like this! You almost died out there!”

He shook his head, confused. “I was looking for you? Did you think I wouldn’t come for you, Clarke.”

The tears broke out anew. “No of course not. I should have known. You always come for me. Bellamy…”

“Shhh,” he said and put the oxygen mask to her face.

He knew this shelter wasn’t air tight. The gasses would get in. He knew he’d been delirious out in the rain and he needed the oxygen. But now she did too, and he couldn’t bear it if she got sick. She looked up at him with large, liquid eyes and just breathed in through the mask.

He brushed her hair back. “I said I loved you,” he said.

She nodded, blinking but keeping the mask to her face. 

“I shouldn’t have.”

She took the mask off, he tried to put it back but she twisted it out of his hand and put it to his face instead.

“Why not? Did you mean it?”

He breathed in the hot oxygen and pulled away. “I meant it.”

“It wasn’t the gasses?”

He sighed, heavily. His head was clearing. “No. I love you. I’m sorry.”

She put the oxygen back to his face and held it there. “Then you’re stupid. Because I’m not sorry and I love you, too.”

He blinked at her. “What?” He said through the mask, he batted at her hands and pulled it off. “No you don’t. You love Lexa.”

She laughed bitterly. “God Bellamy, twist the knife why don’t you? Sorry if I love you both. And I loved Finn too and they’re dead but I’m still alive and I love you.”

“No you don’t.” He was so confused. So heavy in his head. He saw how she loved them. He saw it. 

“Put the oxygen back on, Bellamy, the gas is affecting your personality.”

“That’s not the gas.”

“Yeah, it really is,” she said and the tone in her voice made him look closer at her. “This is not the way this was supposed to happen. You’re such an idiot.”

This time she put the oxygen to her own face. And refused to speak anymore.

He dropped his head back against the rough wall. “Something happened here that wasn’t supposed to. I can’t quite figure it out.”

She made a noise and took the mask off. She wrapped her arm around his neck and put the mask back on him. “Then listen to me and breathe slowly and regularly, okay. Stop trying to give me the mask. You got too much of the poison gas and it’s made you delirious. Understand?”

He nodded. She was very close and he loved the feel of her in his arms. She belonged there.

“I love you, Bellamy, and whether or not you believe me, I do. And maybe you don’t really love me like you just said but—“

He tried to take the mask off and argue but she shook her head.

“Breathe in 1..2…3…4. Breathe out 1…2…3…4…yeah? Keep breathing.You’re okay. I’m okay and we’re stuck here until the storm passes. Okay?” He nodded. She shifted off his lap and he tightened his grip. He didn’t want her to go.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m just going to get a canteen and some protein for you. To counteract the poison, okay? I’ll be back.” 

And she was back. He drank and ate while making her take some oxygen although she said she was fine and the levels in the room weren’t high enough to be a danger. He felt his head nodding. He could barely keep his eyes open.

“It’s okay if you sleep, Bellamy. Let the poison clear it’s way out of your system. You should start to feel better soon.”

“I feel better,” he said, but also closed his eyes and leaned back and when he felt her tucking the blanket around him, he pulled her close to him. “Stay.” He said.

She tucked herself into him and he let his head fall onto her shoulder, waking up just a little when she fastened the oxygen mask onto him. “No,” he protested weakly.

“Just a little bit more.” He was too tired to argue.

***  
When he woke up, he was laying on his back on the floor and the mask was gone. Clarke was still there, laying against his side. He could hardly believe it.

He remembered everything.

“Clarke?” He looked at her in wonder and brushed her tangled hair back from her face.

Her eyes fluttered open. “Oh you’re up,” she said, blinking up at him, biting her lip. “Yeah the storm ended a bit ago, but I wanted to wait until it dries up a bit. Wouldn’t do to have black rain dripping down our necks every time we walk under a tree, right?” She laughed nervously.

“Clarke…” he said softly and leaned over her on his elbow.

She gave him a weak smile. “Still mean it?”

He breathed in, brokenly, “I mean it,” he said, and kissed her.


	9. Accepted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way back from Polis to Arkadia, Clarke and Bellamy stop for the night in the Glowing Forest. 
> 
> Because I can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> That gif of the scene in Unity Days makes me feel things. And now that you've said "those eyes were an invitation, an invitation that he didn't accept", I can't get that idea out of my head. Every time I see that scene I am literally going to burst into flames now. FML ROSY. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. I think you owe me a fic in which he does choose to accept her invitation.... for science 

“We should stop here,” the trikru guard told them. Indra had sent him along. They were allies now. Sky Crew and Trikru. Sometimes Bellamy couldn’t believe it, when he thought back to how they’d murdered half of the delinquents before The Ark had ever come to ground. 

He took a deep breath and clenched his teeth.

This was war.

And when war was over, and you allied with your enemies, your enemies became your friends.

He shot a glance at Clarke, who had nodded and started setting up camp without any argument.

Of course she would have an easier time letting go of her enmity. She always had, hadn’t she? Back when they’d first fallen to earth and she spent so much energy trying to convince some asshole that he wasn’t a bad guy and she believed in him.

He ducked his head and focused on unrolling his bedroll by the camp fire they were building. 

“Bellamy!” Clarke said, her voice was full of wonder and when he looked up, he had to blink. But no. It wasn’t unshed tears making him see things. A glowing blue butterfly fluttered around Clarke’s head. She watched it, delighted, her face radiant in its light.

“This is why we stop here. Trishana.” The guide said, as he lay down on his roll and put his hands behind his head, looking up at the tree canopy. He let out his breath and watched.

The leaves were glowing. 

Just the slightest bit. But as he watched, they got brighter and brighter, a soothing glow.

“Clarke, look,” he said quietly, pointing up, not wanting to break the moment.

But Clarke was disappearing through the trees.

Bellamy’s heart stopped. He jumped to his feet and followed her, loathe, still, to call out, not when he felt like any noise could break this bubble of beauty and send them back to the world full of death and pain, but neither could he let Clarke disappear like that.

He couldn’t. His heart was too delicate. Much like this glowing light.

Over his head, the leaves began to shine brighter. It wasn’t like day light. The shadows were deeper, scintillating golden. Specks of green brilliance zoomed by. Bugs. Zipping past him. Lightning bugs, he thought he remembered.

And there, he saw her, back behind the trees. She was glowing violet-blue and he went to her.

As if he could do anything but.

Amongst the golden green of the glowing leaves, and the bright acid zigzags of the lightning bugs, there was a cloud of butterflies, an otherworldly rippling shades of purple and blue and violet and soft pink. None of it seemed real.

He stood next to Clarke without a word. He felt her take notice of him but he was entranced by the butterflies as they flitted through the branches. What kind of world had they landed on and where had this been the whole time they were bleeding and dying? How did they get to see this now, now that it was all ending?

Then he felt an arm around his waist, and she pressed up against his side, resting her head against his shoulder.

“Bellamy…” she breathed, and that was all there was to say.

He hesitated, but not long, how could he? And wrapped his arm around her shoulder, holding her close.

“I know,” he said, and that was all he could say.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way, he was dizzy with the shifting colors, and the heat that rose up from her body, and the way she smelled slightly like cinnamon. 

“Bellamy…” she whispered and there was a question in her voice.

He looked down at her to see her blinking up at him.

He didn’t have words.

She pressed up against him and he felt her breath push her breasts up against his chest. She was so close. 

Her eyes darted down to his lips and back up to his eyes. He couldn’t… he couldn’t breathe.

Her hands shifted from his waist, up his back as she held on.

She licked her lips and then caught the bottom one with her teeth. He could see her invitation. He could see her fear that he wouldn’t accept it. 

She was gold like the dawn. She was blue like joy. She was the light of the morning and here she was in this glowing night, in his arms. She was everything and he wasn’t even conscious of how his fingers rose up to tangle in her hair and tilt her face up because he loved her more than he loved life.

And then he was kissing her. Her softness and warmth under his lips, in his arms, full against his body. She opened her mouth to him and she was wet and heat and fire and joy and he was sure he was breathing but he didn’t know where his body stopped and hers began, where his head stopped and the fluttering butterflies took over.

Magic.

This was magic.

“I love you, Clarke,” he murmured against her lips and he knew it was wrong and he had no right but there was no way he could not.

Clarke whimpered and pressed even closer into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to her, cupping her hand around the back of his head to run her fingers through his hair.

She kissed him deeper, harder, wetter, and he pushed her back up against a tree.

“Bellamy,” she said again, as if that was the only word she had left. He sucked a path down her neck until she pulled back.

He took a ragged breath in and dropped his hands. Too far. He knew. 

But those eyes she gave him, looking up at him, lit by a thousand glowing butterflies were not telling him to stop. She pulled her shirt over her head and reached back to undo her bra. “Bellamy…” she said and it was a plea.

He nodded. Yes. There was no answer but yes. He pulled off his shirt and laid her down on a bed of soft moss, glowing with the faintest pale light under them. She unbuttoned his pants and reached inside and he groaned into her neck. Then they were both naked in the shining night and he knew it was wrong but it all felt so right he didn’t care and she clutched at him and shivered under him and the tears that trickled down her face were illuminated, and he would have stopped but she wouldn’t let him, urging him higher, harder until they were both gasping and limp in each other’s arms.

He would have let her go, pulled out, rolled off and gotten them both dressed and back to camp, but she held onto him with arms and legs, kissing into his neck, under his jaw, raking her fingers through his hair until he was half hard again. She was here, in his arms, real, finally, and he didn’t know what it meant. He knew how much pain they had both gone through, but it just felt like where he was supposed to be.

“Clarke, I—“ He wanted to tell her, but the words choked him. He swallowed and she watched him with adoring eyes, brushing his hair back from his face.

“Bellamy,” she said, and then she kissed him, with all the tenderness he had never felt. “Bellamy,” she said, and pressed her lips to his eyes as the tears began leaking. “Oh, Bellamy…” and she held him to her as he broke and sobbed, with all the grief and pain he’d been holding back.

She held him and let him break, her lips fluttering along his temple and her fingers brushing through his hair, down his neck to the muscles of his back. He sobbed and she whispered into his pain, “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: Clarke has two lines of dialogue in this. "Bellamy," and "I love you."


	10. Now She Knows Why She Didn't Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the glowing forest, Clarke tries to confess her feelings for Bellamy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coco04 left the following comment on From The Ashes:
> 
> I loved it! I have 2 prompts for you, well more like 2 sentences for you to use as prompts (I don't know if you also take prompts here or only on tumblr, either way):  
> 1) "If you're gonna keep being cute then you'll have to kiss me, I'm sorry I don't make the rules"  
> 2) "The problem is," he said as he leaned in, "if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop."
> 
>  
> 
> carrieeve said:  
> Hi! Congrats of 1500 followers! :-) I've as prompt for you - a midnight kiss, canon verse, in the future. Thanks in advance :-)
> 
>  
> 
> Having gotten stuck on my prompts and now slowing down in my goal of 1 prompt a day, I thought I’d try to throw my writer’s block for a loop and dig back into my prompts for my LAST follower celebration when I was doing first kiss prompts, but actually ending up writing a novella instead of the drabble that was requested of me as my first prompt. Inspiration is a fickle mistress. And I was happy to note that I’d saved all my prompts from that in my writing files, instead of having them be deleted with The Great Inbox Purge of 2017. So @carrieeve you’re in luck! 
> 
> Truth moment: I’m still 15 away from 2k followers, so it’s kind of preemptive, just like, thanks for following me, all 1985 of you. I thought I’d get a head start on writing prompts in the face of new season asks.

Jaha was asleep in the bunker and it was Bellamy’s watch, but Clarke was still too keyed up to sleep, even though it was midnight, so she was sitting with Bellamy, bugging him. Bellamy had given up trying to get her to sleep. Clarke liked to think that it was because he wanted her company. 

This was the first time they’d had the chance to just sit and relax, even if they were on watch, in ages. There were always other people around. Other people watching. People needing things. Politics to wrangle. Wars to head off. But here they were, just the three of them. Clarke, Bellamy and Jaha, and neither of them really had much patience for Jaha, so it was no loss that he wasn’t awake. Maybe he was the best person to be on this mission with. He would leave them alone. Wouldn’t want anything from them, other than the occasional dig about being leaders.

She laughed to herself. It was probably the most benevolent thing Jaha’d done in decades, needling them about how hard it was to make decisions.

“What?” Bellamy asked, twirling a flower between his fingers. The blossom was slowly fading. It’s luminescence paling bit by bit since being plucked at the beginning of his watch. He’d been playing with it since she’d come out. “What’s so funny? I could use a laugh.”

She shook her head and plucked her own blossom. They were everywhere in this forest. It was so full of glowing flora that it was almost like taking watch in the day. Maybe that was why she couldn’t sleep. “Nothing,” she said. “Just thinking about Jaha being powerless and bitter.”

Bellamy laughed too, it was soft and low, and made something quiver inside of her.

“That does sound funny.” He reached over, his chest pressing momentarily against her arm and Clarke took a breath. He snapped the little flower out of Clarke’s hand and started twisting the stem together with the one in his hand. “You remember those little cellophane wrappers the protein cubes came in? Back on the Ark?” He plucked another flower from the ground beside him and twisted it together with the ones in his hand. Clarke nodded, blinking at him. Afraid to say anything, because she wanted to know more about him, Bellamy, who he was on the Ark before they came to Earth. “Yeah, I used to fold those into little flowers for Octavia, when she was about, oh, 8 or so. She was obsessed with princesses in the books. Beauty and the Beast was her favorite. Oh! And Sleeping Beauty! I forgot. Because our mother’s name was Aurora.” His smile faded for a minute and Clarke saw the sadness on his face. She blinked with his pain. She wanted the smile back.

“The cellophane flowers?” Clarke asked. 

He shook his head, sadly, a crooked smile on his face, as he shot a look at her. A jolt of pain went through her heart. No, not pain. Joy. She didn’t know the difference anymore.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “I made her cellophane flowers and wove them together into a crown for her. I said she was the princess of Earth.” One more flower had been fastened in and this time when he looked up at her, his eyes were lit with luminescence.

“I don’t believe you,” she said, so soft she wasn’t sure what it was she didn’t believe, but she had no more breath to clarify.

He raised one eyebrow and the crooked smile got wider. “No? I’ll prove it to you. Watch.” 

And she had to subside because she couldn’t admit that he was making her speechless with every moment she got to see him soften and remember and smile at her and pluck glowing flowers to twist into a wreath. All she could do was stare at him and keep breathing.

“See?” he said and held up the ring of flowers. “A crown for a princess.”

Clarke blinked at him, wanting him to take her in his arms and kiss her because she couldn’t take it anymore.

But he didn’t. He put the flowers on his own head and they nestled into his black curls, glowing softly with a bluish light, and he smiled wide, teeth bright. “A princess.” He laughed delightedly and she could only watch until he subsided.

“What?” he asked on the tail end of a chuckle, reaching out for the quickest second to brush a fallen lock of hair out of Clarke’s eyes. “Never seen a princess before?”

“If you’re gonna keep being cute, they you’ll have to kiss me,” she said without thinking, “Sorry, I don’t make the rules,” she added on at the end, the way she used to when Wells and she had challenged each other as kids, with silly bets, because she was remembering the Ark and the past and she knew she’d pushed it too far.

She watched the laughing smile fall off of his face, and his twinkling eyes still. He took off the glowing princess crown. And she couldn’t watch the light die.

She plucked another flower and started twirling it between her fingers. It was different colors. The stamens a pale yellow but the petals shifting from whitish yellow in the center to a pale blue to an almost violet on the very outer edges of the flower. The petals were thicker than you’d think a flower would be. The flower fleshy and soft.

“Clarke,” he said. His voice was gentle. Sad.

Why had she said that? It was so stupid. She shouldn’t have pushed. 

“Sorry,” she said. 

“Clarke,” he said again. “There’s a problem with that.”

Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath and looked up to face him, shaking her head, ready to tell him to ignore it.

“The problem is,” he said as he leaned in and placed the flower crown on the top of her head, tucking her hair back behind her ears, and letting his fingers stay there, just grazing her cheek, her jaw, her neck. She felt her bones melt at his touch. He looked down at her, the light from her crown gentling his latest bruise. He cleared his throat, as if he’d lost his words for a moment. “The problem is, if I kissed you, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

He blinked slowly and twisted his mouth just slightly in that way she had come to know as regret. 

He dropped his hand from her cheek and leaned away, getting ready to shift back from her. She couldn’t have him leave. She couldn’t let him get farther away.

She laced her fingers through his.

“Bellamy, would that be so bad?”

“What?” he breathed.

“To not stop?”

His fingers flexed in hers. “What?”

She didn’t know how to say it, how to tell him she wanted him so near all the time, wanted to reach out to him whenever she could. Wanted to sleep in his arms and listen to his heart beat with her ear pressed against his chest. She didn’t know how, so instead she leaned into him. Watching him the entire time as she got closer, at the way his eyes dropped to her lips and his mouth parted. The way his breath sped up.

“And if I kissed you?” she said, so close to him she barely said the words, but he tilted his head slightly for her.

“We shouldn’t,” he said, but his hand slid up her arm sending shivers down her spine. His warm palm cupped her neck, and his fingers played in the hair at the nape of her neck. “We have the mission.” 

The words were no more than a breath and she felt them on her lips. So close. She could not help herself. She shifted an inch and brushed her lips against his before pulling back.

“I’m very single minded.”

He laughed silently, “I know,” then his fingers tightened and sadness crossed his face. “If you need this, before the world ends, to get to live in the time we have left, to have someone to comfort you…” his voice was deep and broken. He swallowed heavily. “I’ll give it to you.”

Clarke froze. “Someone.”

He licked his lips and continued. “I’d rather… I’d rather it was me than someone you didn’t know as well, or trust. Someone you just—“

“Someone.” She pulled back.

He shook his head confused, dropping his hands from her skin and she felt cold. 

“What happened? I thought you wanted—“

“Someone.”

He stared at her confused and she took off the stupid crown wanting to fling it away from her but it was too beautiful and delicate so she just ended up holding it in her hands and staring. Those were tears falling on the crown now. Her tears. 

He shifted to sit next to her. Clarke could feel how tentative he was. “I’m sorry,” he said, earnestly. “What did I do?”

She couldn’t look at him. She twisted the flowers in her fingers. “I don’t want ‘someone’ Bellamy. I want you.”

There was a moment where he didn’t say anything. “Oh,” he said, then laughed once, quiet and bitter. “Yeah, then that was a dick move on my part. Sorry.” He paused. Then, carefully, “I want you, too.” He feathered his fingers over the back of her hand before pulling it into his lap. He played with her fingers, caressing the palm of her hand with this thumb. “Can we try this over again?”

Clarke sighed and turned to him. “I did this wrong, Bellamy.” His fingers stopped fluttering over her skin and she held them tightly before he could get away. His eyes were guarded. “I don’t want just someone.”

“I get that,” he said, as if he wasn’t sure where she was going.

She shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t just want you.”

His eyebrows drew together as he stared into her eyes. His jaw clenched. She couldn’t take it anymore and pulled her hand out of his so she could press her fingers against those leaping muscles. “Dammit Bellamy, I always do this wrong. I always wait too long. I don’t want to mess it up again.”

He was shaking his head at her. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” she said.

“You won’t lose me.”

“You don’t know that. I don’t know that. Nothing is certain but what I feel right now, with you. And I can’t…”

She couldn’t say the words, even though she wanted to. Even though she’d learned her lessons about waiting to say it, waiting to feel it, wanting to tell. So she didn’t. She kissed him.

He was still under her lips, and she pulled back slightly, letting one hand tangle in his hair, and the other slide down his neck to find his pulse beating rapidly. She kissed him again, this time he kissed back, his tongue teasing hers, his arms coming around her waist and pulling her to him.

“Whatever you need, Clarke.” He whispered against her lips.

And there it was.The feeling she’d been holding for him for so long and she couldn’t hold it anymore. “No Bellamy, it’s not whatever I need. It’s more than that. Look at me,” she said.

He pulled back and looked at her, his eyes dazed and his lips swollen.

“I love you. Okay, and I’m not going to wait until one of us is dying to say it. I’ve done that already and I’m not going to do it again. I’m not going to lose you before I ever have you. I love you. And you don’t have to say it back or even feel it back I just wanted you to know because I love you and you deserve to know you are loved.”

She was crying again and she didn’t know how that started or why even. She was just so happy to be in his arms and relieved to be telling him how she felt. “Okay? It’s not whatever I need. It’s what you need. What do you need?”

He was just staring at her.

She wiped her tears away and laughed. “Don’t look so shocked, Bellamy. I said you didn’t have to feel it back. The end of the world is coming, If I’m freaking you out, we’ll only have to deal until—“

“Shut up.” He said.

She stopped talking. It was probably better that way. She laughed again. Her heart was only broken a little bit, she felt more free than anything. She giggled and covered her laugh with her hand.

He looked at her like she was crazy. She probably was. The tears started flowing but also the laughter. She tried to hold it back with both hands.

“What is wrong with you, Clarke?” he said and pulled her hands away from mouth.

“Hysterical?” She shrugged.

“Yeah, that must be it.” He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and her laughter died instantly. He didn’t look angry. Or shocked, even. He looked….

She could breathe again.

“You asked me what I need?” 

She nodded afraid to speak.

“I need you, Clarke. Just you.”

“Really?”

He bit his lip. “I love you,” he said.

“Oh,” she said, and felt the smile spread across her face. “You do?”

“How did you not know? I thought you knew I loved you and you just wanted to someone to…never mind. I would have done it anyway, to have you near me.”

Clarke pulled back. “You—you thought I knew you loved me and I just wanted someone to fuck, right? And you were gonna do it? What the fuck, Bellamy? How could you just let me use you like that? Don’t you understand how wonderful you are? Don’t you understand that you deserved to be loved, for real? With everything? For everything you are and all you’ve done and the way you’ve worked to make up for your mistakes and be a better man.” Clarke was fuming. She slapped at his chest. “How could you?”

He was grinning.

“What?” she snapped, glaring at him.

“You’re really bad at this,” he said. 

She took a breath to retort and realized she was in Bellamy’s lap, with his arms around her, and a smile on his face and he loved her. She let the breath out. “I’m just mad you don’t value yourself the way I value you.” 

“I guess you’re just going to have to love me enough to make up for it.”

Clarke nodded. She kissed the scar above his lip. “Okay,”

He let out a breath like a gasp. 

She pulled away so she could look him in the eye. “I love you, Bellamy. I’m sorry I didn’t say it right. I’ll keep practicing.”

“Good idea,” he said. “And keep kissing me.”

“Yeah?” She asked, leaning forward to take his lower lip between hers and sucking for just a moment, before pulling back again.

“Yeah,” he said, “I don’t want to stop.” Then wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, and it was just the beginning.


End file.
